What Does March 25th Mean to You?

What does March 25th mean to you? 

Maybe not much just another day but for me this day has a couple of emotional events.......

March 25, 2002........ was a day that I will never forget I woke up and went to school I was in collage at the time and to my surprise my first 2 morning classes were canceled. So as I was driving home I remembered that my mom was at my grandparents house that morning to help out so instead of driving home I went to there.  My grandma wasn't doing the best She was sick with colon cancer so I decided to go there and have breakfast with my grandpa and cherishing every second with them both. As I left later that day my grandma waved bye with her pointer finger, she hadn't really moved in a couple days and I could tell it took so much energy for her to do that but it was something I will never forget and I thank her for that moment because little did I know less than 30 min after I would walk out that door would I get a call saying she had passed away. I will never forget that morning from the oatmeal and grapefruit with grandpa to the finger wave and kiss bye to my grandma. I am so grateful for how that morning played out, I will always wonder how my classes were canceled to give me such a special and precious memory to always remember. I don't believe it was a coincidence, I believe it was meant to happen that way! 16 years later and I still miss her so so much!

March 25, 2015.......this day was suppose to be Emma’s due date. When I received the news that this was Emma’s due date my heart burst because I knew my grandma had something to do with this special baby being sent to us after a few miscarriages. 

The real March 25, 2015...... turned into the most devastating day of my life. The day Drs told me that my baby, only 5 days old, would never do or be anything that I thought she would be. The day they told me to take her home and love her. The day they told me she might not see the age of 1, 3 or even 5, they just didn’t know. The day I cried so many tears I couldn’t cry anymore, some tears falling when I didn't even know I was crying. The day I watched a 4 year old hold her little sister, sing to her and show me there was nothing to be afraid of she wasn’t all that different....she was Emma. The shock, the pain, the sadness, the fear, all of it I can still feel to this day. Lissencephaly was a word I had never heard before and it was a word I didn’t want to look up online and it’s a word that you should never google. But when you are on Facebook and Instagram search away because that’s where you get your real life statistics, not google. That’s where we found families just like ours, yes some sadly have lost their child early (way too early) but some celebrating 10th, 15th, even 20th Birthdays. I feel that Emma being diagnosed on this day was also my grandma saying it’s ok I’m here to help and watch over her, stay strong. My heart just breaks when I think about others going through this day. When other Lissencephaly families describe their diagnosis day is sounds so familiar to ours and takes me back and emotions come flooding, tears streaming that I didn't even know had started to fall. 

March 25, 2018.....now for today this March 25th. This day I still get emotional as I am sure I always will but I will also smile and cuddle my beautiful little girl. The girl who has done more than Drs ever said she would. The girl who has flipped our

Lives upside but made us better people. Made us who we are today. Finding out what life is truly about, cherishing every second we are given together as tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone. I still feel my Grandma is watching over sweet Emma and Ava, as I feel she would have absolutely adored both my girls. She would have begged Ava to wear her hair down more (I just know it) and she would have gushed over Emma’s curls. 

Today I am grateful....grateful Emma is still with us and for the most part still doing well (sadly seizures have returned). I love you Grandma and I love you Emma. Today will always be a day that both of you are in my heart. 

Hooked up to EEG to monitor seizure activity

Big sister singing to her little sister on Diagnosis Day

My Grandparents

Me as a child with my grandparents

Emma showing us that smile we were told would NEVER happen 

Us celebrating Emma turning 3!

Sisters and Best Friends Forever

March 25th will always be a day I have feel every emotion possible..........